In this very funny pun article, we have come up with and collected the best legal puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Courtroom Comedy: The Top 10 Legal Puns That Will Have You Laughing in Contempt
1. I was arrested for stealing a calendar, but I think I’m gonna get off on a technicality.
2. Why do lawyers wear neckties? To keep the bottom of their briefcases warm.
3. The lawyer couldn’t find a pencil during his trial, so he drew his own conclusions.
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so now I’m a lawyer.
5. The best lawyer puns are all in the jurisdiction.
6. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
7. How does a trial end? With a verdict-y.
8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. The police arrested the lawyer for being an accomplice because he was bar none.
10. The judge asked the jury if they kept an open mind. They all wanted to, but their brains kept falling out.
Defense vs. Prosecution: Hilarious Legal Puns to Make Your Case for Best Dad Jokes
1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
2. I’m a huge fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
3. I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
8. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
10. I couldn’t think of a construction pun that was good enough for this list, but then I realized I hadn’t built it correctly.
Objection Overruled: Funny Pun-ishments for Lawyers and Law Enthusiasts Alike
1. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
2. What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
3. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
6. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
7. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but good players are hard to find.
8. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
Legal Eagle Laughs: The Funniest Lawyer Puns and Jokes You Can’t Object To
1. You’re not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.
2. I’m writing a book on hurricanes. It’s blowing me away.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so now I’m a lawyer.
4. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
5. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
6. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
10. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
From Briefs to Bar Exams: Side-Splitting Legal Humor That Will Pass the Funny Test
1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so now I’m a lawyer.
3. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
8. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
9. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
10. The rotation of earth really makes my day.