In this very funny pun article, we have come up with and collected the best vampire puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Sink Your Teeth Into These Fang-tastic Vampire Puns
1. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite!
2. What do you call a vampire who’s been teaching for centuries? An ancient lecturer!
3. How does a vampire like his steak cooked? Rare.
4. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
5. Why was the vampire always calm? Because he never lost his head.
6. What kind of coffee do vampires drink? Decoffin-ated.
7. Why don’t vampires like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
8. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
9. How does a vampire clean his house? With a broomstick.
10. What do you call a vampire comedian? A Vamper.
Count Dracula Approved: The Funniest Blood-sucking Dad Jokes
1. How does a vampire start letters? Tomb it may concern.
2. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowstorm? Frostbite.
3. Why did the vampire get a job in banking? He was good at making withdrawals.
4. Why did the vampire become a doctor? He wanted to stop coffin.
5. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
6. Why did the vampire get lost? He couldn’t find his way out of his bat cave.
7. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly-filled donuts are gone.
8. Why did the vampire join the baseball team? He heard they needed a good bat.
9. What do you call a vampire that’s always been greedy? Fangful.
10. How do vampires start arguments? By proving someone wrong, bite by bite.
Bite Me With Laughter: Hilarious Vampire Pun One-liners
1. I used to have a crush on a vampire, but then she ghosted me.
2. Why are vampires like false teeth? They only come out at night.
3. I told a vampire he was a pain in the neck, and he tried to suck up to me.
4. When a vampire opens a blood bank, do they call it “The Red Cross”?
5. Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She kept telling him to get a life.
6. If a vampire goes to a party and doesn’t have a good time, can you say he had a “grave” time?
7. How do vampires make sure they look good? They always reflect on themselves.
8. I told a vampire he couldn’t come in through the window, and he said, “Don’t be so vein.”
9. Why was the vampire always in trouble at school? He kept baring his fangs in class.
10. How do vampires like their food cooked? Rare, medium, or stake.
From Bat to Worse: More Fang-tastic Vampire Jokes That Will Slay You
1. What do you call a vegetarian vampire? A vampire who likes gourd-eous vegetables.
2. Why did the vampire get in trouble with his tailor? He kept ripping his clothes off.
3. What did the vampire say when he found out his favorite shirt had a hole in it? “Oh, bloody hell!”
4. How do vampires like their eggs? A little bit scrambled.
5. Why did the vampire become a musician? He always wanted to play the vein-o.
6. I told a vampire to go fly a kite, and he said, “No, I prefer to fly bats.”
7. What do you call a vampire who’s good at math? Count Calcula.
8. Why don’t vampires use Facebook? They’re tired of all the staking requests.
9. How do vampires get around when they can’t fly? Uber-bat.
10. Why did the vampire flunk out of art school? He couldn’t draw blood.
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark Humor: Even More Bloody Funny Vampire Puns
1. Why did the vampire get hired as a fortune teller? He could always see things in the future.
2. Why did the vampire always carry around a pen and notebook? He loved to write blood-curdling stories.
3. I asked a zombie if it wanted to hang out with me, and it said, “I’m feeling a little grave.”
4. Why did the vampire refuse to play hide and seek? He could never find a good coffin.
5. How do vampires make sure they always have enough to eat? They put their meals on a stake-out.
6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite marks.
7. Why did the vampire break up with his ghost girlfriend? She kept haunting his thoughts.
8. How do vampires greet each other in the morning? “Good Mourning!”
9. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving.
10. Why did the vampire become a gardener? He loved to plant garlic to keep away vampire hunters.