In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best retail puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Retail Therapy: The Best Puns to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the shopaholic buy a ladder? Because she heard the prices were through the roof!
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I work at a bakery and make a killing!
3. What did the customer say to the unhelpful salesperson? “You’re not cutting it!”
4. My wallet is like an onion – every time I open it, I cry.
5. Why did the man bring a ladder to the store? He heard they had great deals on the top shelf!
6. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
8. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
10. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Cash Register Chuckles: Hilarious Dad Jokes for Shopaholics
1. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!
2. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the department store? They woke up.
4. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
5. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers.
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
8. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity – it’s impossible to put down.
9. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
10. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live-stream.
Sale-ing the Show: Wordplay Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
2. I used to play a game where I would make scrambled eggs. Now I make omelettes.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. I like telling dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
6. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
7. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
9. Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
10. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
Priceless Puns: Funny Retail Jokes to Make Your Shopping Trip More Enjoyable
1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I work at a bakery and make a killing!
3. Did you hear about the restaurant that caters exclusively to birds? It’s a real tweet.
4. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
5. Why did the man bring a ladder to the store? He heard they had great deals on the top shelf!
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
9. My wallet is like an onion – every time I open it, I cry.
10. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Store Laughs: The Top Retail Puns to Put a Smile on Your Face
1. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
2. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
5. What did the customer say to the unhelpful salesperson? “You’re not cutting it!”
6. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live-stream.
7. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the department store? They woke up.
10. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.