In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best lawyer puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Legally Hilarious: The Top 10 Lawyer Puns Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court?
Because he heard the case was going to be heard on a higher level.
2. How does an attorney sleep?
First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.
3. What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Incredible Hulk?
Legal counsel that can really smash the opposition.
4. Why did the lawyer go to the beach?
To catch some waves in the case files.
5. Why was the attorney always calm?
He had a lot of briefing sessions.
6. What’s a lawyer’s favorite game?
Lawsuit and Ladders.
7. Why do lawyers make terrible singers?
They always object to the high notes.
8. How do you know if a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
9. Why did the lawyer break up with the judge?
They had irreconcilable differences of opinion.
10. What does a lawyer wear to court?
Lawsuits!
Courtroom Comedy: Unleashing the Funniest Legal Wordplays and Jokes
1. Did you hear about the guy who got sued for playing hide and seek with his lawyer?
He was caught hiding behind the statutes of limitations.
2. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the courtroom?
Odor in the court!
3. Why did the lawyer go broke at the race track?
Too many legal briefs.
4. Why did the dog become a lawyer?
He wanted to make objections paw-sible.
5. How do you know a lawyer is about to lie?
His briefs become briefer.
6. What’s a lawyer’s favorite type of tree?
A lawsuit.
7. Why did the lawyer carry a map to court?
Because he wanted to avoid a mistrial.
8. How do you make a small fortune as a lawyer?
Start with a large fortune.
9. Why did the dentist become a lawyer?
He wanted to floss the law.
10. What’s a lawyer’s favorite type of footwear?
Loafers, of course – they don’t like to tie up any loose ends!
Defense Delights: How Lawyers Put the “Pun” in Legal Puns
1. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three – one to change it, one to sue the lightbulb company, and one to sue the ladder company.
2. Why do lawyers make great musicians?
They have lots of experience with trials.
3. Why was the lawyer cross-eyed?
They can’t keep their cases straight.
4. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off their head.
5. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
6. Why was the lawyer always on top during sex?
He liked to keep the position of power.
7. Why did the lawyer become a gardener?
He wanted to prune the legal system.
8. Why did the lawyer get in trouble for telling secrets?
He couldn’t keep a client’s privates secret.
9. Why was the lawyer always calm?
He knew how to stay cool under pressure.
10. How do lawyers say goodbye?
We’ll sue ya later!
The Verdict is In: These Lawyer Dad Jokes Will Have You Gavel-ing with Laughter
1. Why did the lawyer put his money in the blender?
He wanted to make some liquid assets.
2. How does an attorney sleep?
First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.
3. Why did the judge put the mermaid in jail?
For trying to bribe the witness.
4. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
Retired.
5. Why did the jury take a sick day?
They were feeling sub-poena.
6. How did the two criminal lawyers know they were meant to be together?
It was love at first plea.
7. Have you heard the joke about the lawsuit?
Never mind, I don’t want to object.
8. Why did the lawyer always carry a watch in court?
To make sure he always had ample time.
9. What do vegetarian lawyers eat for lunch?
Legal briefs.
10. How do you make a small fortune as a lawyer?
Start with a large fortune and bill by the minute!
Funny Filings: A Roundup of the Best Lawyer Puns and Jokes on the Internet
1. Why did the lawyer bring a pencil to court?
To draw his own conclusions.
2. Why did the chicken farmer hire a lawyer?
They were up against some fowl play.
3. How do lawyers say “goodbye”?
We’ll sue ya later!
4. Why did the lawyer get therapy?
He couldn’t seem to pass the bar.
5. Why does Santa always win a lawsuit?
He’s good at presenting a solid Claus.
6. Why did the lawyer carry a map to court?
To avoid a mistrial.
7. What’s a lawyer’s favorite game?
Suits and Ladders.
8. Why did the judge play tennis?
Because he wanted to serve justice.
9. How do lawyers make money off of real estate?
They deed to.
10. How was the lawyer’s party?
It was a contract hit!