In this very funny pun article, we have come up with and collected the best jesus puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
1. Holy Hilarity: The Top Jesus Puns That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
1. Why did Jesus make a great baseball player? Because he always got to third base!
2. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic!
3. How does Jesus make his tea? Hebrews it!
4. Why did Jesus refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because good shepherds always find their sheep!
5. What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christ-ler!
6. Why was Jesus a good gardener? Because he was always able to make the plants Holy!
7. How did Jesus greet his followers? With a big “Holy Moses!”
8. Why was Jesus always calm during storms? Because he had a lot of faith!
9. What do you call it when Jesus takes a selfie? A cross-ie!
10. Why couldn’t Jesus play basketball? Because he kept getting nailed to the boards!
2. Turning Water Into Wine… and Dad Jokes: The Funniest Jesus Puns on the Internet
1. Why was Jesus so good at basketball? Because he always had a “heavenly” shot!
2. What’s Jesus’ favorite kind of music? Gospel!
3. How does Jesus make his coffee? Hebrews it!
4. Why did Jesus go to therapy? To deal with his “cross” to bear!
5. Why did Jesus go to the gym? To get “cross-fit”!
6. What do you call it when Jesus’ mom takes a photo? A “Mary” picture!
7. Why did Jesus never get lost? He always had a “divine” sense of direction!
8. How did Jesus make his bed? With “holy” sheets!
9. Why did Jesus start a band? Because he had some “heavenly” music skills!
10. What’s Jesus’ favorite type of bread? “Cross”aints!
3. Walking on Water and Cracking Jokes: Hilarious Jesus Puns That Will Make Your Day
1. Why did Jesus refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because good shepherds always find their sheep!
2. What do you call it when Jesus does a magic trick? Crucifiction!
3. How does Jesus make his cereal? With Holy Spirit!
4. Why did Jesus never get lost? He always had a “divine” sense of direction!
5. What’s Jesus’ favorite type of steak? Filet of “sole”!
6. Why was Jesus always calm during storms? Because he had a lot of faith!
7. How did Jesus greet his followers? With a big “Holy Moses!”
8. Why couldn’t Jesus be a lawyer? Because he always turned the other cheek!
9. What do you call it when Jesus takes a selfie? A cross-ie!
10. Why was Jesus always a hit at parties? Because he could turn water into wine!
4. From the Last Supper to Punny Laughter: The Best Jesus Dad Jokes You Need to Hear
1. What did Jesus say to the shopkeeper when he bought bread and wine? “Keep the change, my father will pay!”
2. Why was Jesus’ job as a carpenter a blessing? Because he could always “nail” the job!
3. Why did Jesus never win at poker? Because he always showed his “hand”!
4. What did Jesus say to the bartender when he ordered wine? “I’ll have a cross between red and white, please!”
5. Why did Jesus go to the doctor? Because he had a “cross” to bear!
6. What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? “This bread is my body… but the wine is just grape juice!”
7. Why did Jesus go to the beach? To walk on water and make sand angels!
8. What did Jesus say when he helped someone find their lost keys? “I am the way, the truth, and the key-finder!”
9. Why did Jesus never get lost in the desert? Because he always had his “compass-ion” with him!
10. What did Jesus say when he stubbed his toe? “Holy heel!”
5. The Resurrection of Comedy: Jesus Puns That Are Sure to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did Jesus go to the bakery? To get his daily bread!
2. What did Jesus say to the leper who wanted a hug? “I’ll give you a hand!”
3. Why did Jesus have trouble sleeping? Because he kept having “cross” dreams!
4. What did Jesus say when he saw a fig tree with no fruit? “That’s not very a-peeling!”
5. Why did Jesus never lose at Scrabble? Because he always had the “word” of God on his side!
6. What did Jesus say when he saw a bald man? “Are you having a “hairy” day?”
7. Why did Jesus never get a parking ticket? Because he always had “divine” intervention!
8. What did Jesus say to the comedian who made a joke about him? “You nailed it!”
9. Why did Jesus start a garden? Because he wanted to “plant” the seed of faith!
10. What did Jesus say when he saw a rainbow? “That’s my Father’s way of saying I’m doing a good job!”