In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best green puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
1. Go Green or Go Home: The Top 10 Hilarious Green Puns
1. I’m really good at gardening because I have a green thumb–it’s my most a-peeling quality.
2. Did you hear about the lettuce that broke up with the cucumber? It just couldn’t romaine calm.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. I’m a fungi at parties because I’m a real spore-t in the moment.
5. The tree was stumped during math class because it couldn’t figure out how to branch out.
6. When the gardener went to jail, it was for turning over a new leaf.
7. I once told a joke about soil, but it didn’t go over very well. It was just too dirty.
8. The acorn didn’t understand photosynthesis, but it knew it was a bright idea.
9. The grass is never greener on the other side–unless it’s been fertilized.
10. Vegetables are a-peeling, but fruit is grape for a laugh.
2. Eco-Friendly and Laugh-Friendly: Green Dad Jokes that Will Leaf You in Stitches
1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
2. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line.
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
7. I told a pun in an elevator today. It was wrong on so many levels.
8. Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. Have you heard about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
3. Planting the Seeds of Laughter: Wordplay Puns That Are Sure to Sprout a Smile
1. The broccoli didn’t like the celery–it kept throwing shade.
2. The sunflower was a-maize-ing because it always turned towards the light.
3. What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber.
4. Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the tomato sauce.
5. The herb garden threw a party and it was totally thymeless.
6. The plant was so angry, it had to be re-leafed of its duties.
7. I carrot wait to tell you this pun, it’s a-peeling.
8. The celery needed to make a quick decision, it was in a real pickle.
9. The mushroom was a real fun guy at parties.
10. The watermelon always had a splashing time at the pool party.
4. From A to Zucchini: Funny Veggie Puns That Will Make You Green with Envy
1. Lettuce turnip the beet and have a radish time!
2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
3. I need to stop using herb puns, but I can’t help myself–they’re just too sage to resist.
4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
6. I started a band called 999 Megabytes–we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
7. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
8. The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.
9. The grape was so mad, it let out a little wine.
10. The gardener was great at watering plants because he was outstanding in his field.
5. Shamrock and Roll: The Best Green Wordplays that Will Have You Laughing All the Way to the Compost Bin
1. What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew!
2. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
3. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
4. I used to be a shoe salesman, but I lost my sole.
5. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
6. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but good players are really hard to find.
7. The other day, I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
8. I have a fear of speed bumps but I’m slowly getting over it.
9. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know why.
10. The inventor of knock-knock jokes should get a “no-bell” prize.