In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best doctor puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Doctor Dolittle: The Top 10 Hilarious Doctor Puns That Will Have You in Stitches
1. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
2. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood.
3. Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into his lens grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
4. The doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven’t heard from him since.
5. Why did the doctor carry a thermometer in their pocket? In case someone needed a temperature check.
6. I told my doctor I was addicted to Twitter. He said he didn’t follow.
7. Why did the doctor carry a map? In case they needed to find a patient’s location.
8. My doctor told me to eat more vegetables. I said, “But Doc, I’m a carnivore!”
9. Why did the doctor carry a stethoscope in their car? In case of any traffic jams.
10. Why did the doctor have a high fever? They caught a case of allergy to the pollen-tical climate.
Say “Ahhh”: The Funniest Dad Jokes and Wordplays About Doctors
1. Why did the doctor carry a briefcase? In case they needed to operate on the go.
2. The doctor told me I have a vitamin deficiency. I asked, “Which one?” and they said, “Vitamin ‘C’ you later!”
3. Why did the doctor have a calendar on their desk? To keep track of their patients’ check-ups.
4. The doctor pointed at the x-ray and said, “This is your funny bone.” I replied, “No wonder it tickles!”
5. Why did the doctor always carry a phone? To always be on call.
6. The doctor told me to stop eating cookies. I asked, “Would that make me crumby?”
7. Why did the doctor always wear gloves? To keep their hands sanitized.
8. The doctor said I had a contagious disease. I said, “That’s sick, doc!”
9. Why did the doctor carry a flashlight? In case they needed to shed some light on a situation.
10. The doctor told me I had an elevated heart rate. I said, “Is it because you took my breath away?”
Laughter is the Best Medicine: 15 Doctor Puns Guaranteed to Make You Smile
1. Why did the doctor have a fish tank in their office? To remind patients to stay hydrated like a fish.
2. The doctor told me I needed more potassium. I said, “I might ‘k need’ it!”
3. Why did the doctor always carry a penlight? To brighten up their patients’ day.
4. The doctor asked me if I had a history of heart disease in my family. I replied, “I donut think so.”
5. Why did the doctor always wear a white coat? To help them blend in at the hospital.
6. The doctor said I had a case of the flu. I replied, “That’s sick, doc!”
7. Why did the doctor always carry a tissue? In case there was a chart-topping sneeze.
8. The doctor told me to stop using my phone in bed. I said, “Would that make me a ‘cell’ out?”
9. Why did the doctor always carry a bottle of water? To stay hydrated on the job.
10. The doctor told me I had a bacterial infection. I said, “Don’t spread that rumor!”
Operating Room Humor: The Ultimate List of Doctor Puns and Funny Medical Jokes
1. Why did the doctor always carry a notepad? In case they needed to write a prescription for laughter.
2. The doctor told me my blood pressure was high. I said, “But doc, I’m always under pressure!”
3. Why did the doctor carry a clipboard? In case they needed to take notes on their patients.
4. The doctor said I had a case of the Mondays. I replied, “I haven’t been ‘Monday’ well lately.”
5. Why did the doctor always wear a stethoscope around their neck? To keep their heartbeat close to their patients’.
6. The doctor told me I had a fever. I said, “Is it because you’re so hot, doc?”
7. Why did the doctor always carry a bag of cotton swabs? In case they needed to clean the humor out of a situation.
8. The doctor asked me if I had any allergies. I said, “Just to bad jokes.”
9. Why did the doctor always carry a ruler? To measure up to their patients’ expectations.
10. The doctor told me I had a case of being too handsome. I said, “Well, I’m ‘sick’ with that!”
Scrubs and Chuckles: 20 Side-Splitting Doctor Puns That Are Just What the Doctor Ordered
1. Why did the doctor have a sense of humor? To keep their patients in stitches.
2. The doctor told me to eat more fruits and vegetables. I replied, “Would that make me a ‘fruititionist’?”
3. Why did the doctor always carry a bag of candy in their pocket? To give their patients a little ‘pick me up.’
4. The doctor said I had a case of the Mondays. I replied, “I haven’t been ‘Monday’ well lately.”
5. Why did the doctor have a smile on their face? To brighten up their patients’ day.
6. The doctor told me I needed to exercise more. I said, “But doc, I’m allergic to ‘sweat!'”
7. Why did the doctor carry a jar of honey? To sweeten up their appointments.
8. The doctor asked me if I had a history of heart disease in my family. I replied, “I donut think so.”
9. Why did the doctor always have a positive outlook? To inject some positivity into their patients’ days.
10. The doctor told me I was addicted to soap operas. I said, “But doc, it’s just my ‘soap-tuous’ lifestyle.”