In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best split puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
The Splitting Side of Humor: Top 10 Hilarious Split Puns
1. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
2. I started a new diet where I only eat foods that can be split in half. It’s been a real piece of cake!
3. How does a grape introduce his girlfriend? “Meet my currant squeeze!”
4. Did you hear about the peanut who got a job in a circus? He’s a real nutcracker!
5. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction. It was a real split decision!
6. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m a banker, and I’m rolling in the dough!
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. I used to be a tailor, but I couldn’t make ends meet. Now I’m a chef, and I’m cooking up a storm!
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
10. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
Don’t Split Your Sides Laughing: The Funniest Dad Jokes About Splits
1. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
2. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings!
4. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
5. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie!
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
10. I’m friends with a couple who refused to pay their exorcist. They got repossessed.
Splitting Wordplays: Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m a banker, and I’m rolling in the dough!
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. I used to be a chef, but I couldn’t make ends meat. Now I’m a butcher, and I’m loving the cut of my job!
4. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
5. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
6. I used to be a shoe salesman, but I lost my sole.
7. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!
8. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
9. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads. It’s on a tropical keyboard.
10. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Double the Fun: The Best Split Jokes and Puns
1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m a banker, and I’m rolling in the dough!
4. I’m friends with a couple who refused to pay their exorcist. They got repossessed.
5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
6. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie!
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
10. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Stay Split-tastically Entertained with These Side-Splitting Puns
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. I’m friends with a couple who refused to pay their exorcist. They got repossessed.
3. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
4. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie!
5. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
7. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
8. I used to be a chef, but I couldn’t make ends meat. Now I’m a butcher, and I’m loving the cut of my job!
9. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.