In this very funny pun article, we have come up with and collected the best shopping puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Shop ’til You Drop: The Ultimate List of Shopping Puns to Make You Laugh
1. I buy all my clothes online because it’s just too much hassle to go out and try things on in the store. I guess you could say I’m e-lazy.
2. Why did the shop assistant break up with the online store? They had too many arguments about discount codes.
3. I opened a store selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
4. A thief broke into my house and stole all my detergent. Don’t worry though, the cops are on the lookout for a clean getaway.
5. I couldn’t figure out why my laptop kept getting heavier. Then I realized the Internet was full of cookies.
6. I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
7. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help.
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
10. I quit my job at the shoe recycling factory. It was sole-destroying work.
Punderful Picks: Hilarious Shopping Dad Jokes Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day
1. Why don’t we ever play hide and seek with mountains? It always takes them forever to shop!
2. Did you hear about the guy who lost all his money at the furniture store? He’s completely chairless now.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home from the mall? It lost its bearings.
4. What’s a shopaholic’s favorite game? Retail-ation.
5. Why did the belt break up with the pants? It couldn’t hold them up anymore.
6. Why don’t shops ever play hide and seek? They’re always coming out of the closet.
7. What did the pair of jeans say to the denim jacket? “We make a great pair!”
8. Why did the shopping cart break up with the supermarket? It just couldn’t push its buttons anymore.
9. Why do socks hate going to the shoe store? They always end up losing their mate.
10. Why did the credit card break up with the wallet? It couldn’t handle the constant swiping.
Funny Finds: Top Shopping Puns That Will Have You in Stitches
1. The girl who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with her family.
2. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
3. I would tell you a joke about a shopping trolley… But it’s cartooned enough already.
4. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition but good players are really hard to find.
5. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
6. I’d tell you a joke about appliances, but that’s just not working for me.
7. I lost a goldfish named Goldie, but then I found it in the toilet.
8. I bought a thesaurus at the book store but when I got home all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
9. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was just a waste of time.
10. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
Cashmere and Comedy: The Best Retailer Riddles and Jokes for a Good Chuckle
1. I’m a bargain hunter, but I think I got scammed by a guy selling antique timepieces. It was just a waste of time.
2. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
3. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
4. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
8. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. I used to be a baker and a banker, but I retired because I had too many turnovers.
Bagging Laughs: Side-Splitting Shopping Humor That Will Have You Rolling in the Aisles
1. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
2. I opened a bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. I used to be a baker and a banker, but I retired because I had too many turnovers.
6. I broke my arm in two places, but I only told people one place.
7. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
8. I opened a bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.