In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best government puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Punny Politicians: Hilarious Government-themed Jokes
1. Why did the politician go to the doctor? Because he had a bad case of congress.
2. Why do politicians do so well in debate? Because they’re experts at spinning things.
3. What do you call a politician who’s lost an election? A has-been-gal.
4. Why did the political party break up? Because they couldn’t find any common ground.
5. How do politicians stay cool during heated debates? They use fan-tastic arguments.
6. Why was the politician always calm? Because he had great control-lection.
7. What did the politician say when he lost his voice? “I’m speechless!”
8. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? To help him climb up in the polls.
9. What do politicians do before bed? They legislate and rest-igate.
10. Why do politicians make terrible comedians? Because their jokes always fall flat on their constituents.
Laughing at Laws: The Funniest Government Pun Laws
1. It’s illegal to tell a secret on a farm – the potatoes have eyes and ears.
2. In Florida, it’s illegal to sing in a public place while wearing a swimsuit.
3. In Alabama, it’s illegal to drive blindfolded. Because that’s a road less taken.
4. In Texas, it’s illegal to milk another person’s cow. You don’t want to have a beef with the law.
5. In Pennsylvania, it’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. You might catch some cold cases.
6. In North Carolina, it’s illegal to swear on the highway. Because cursing should be kept in the slow lane.
7. In Washington, it’s illegal to build and fly a UFO. They’re not prepared for unidentified flying objects.
8. In Rhode Island, it’s illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley. Dill with it.
9. In Vermont, it’s illegal for women to wear fake teeth without their husband’s permission. They need to get their choppers in a row.
10. In New Jersey, it’s illegal for bullet-proof vest salesmen to eat from their own merchandise. They’re taking a vest-napositional risk.
Capitol Comedy: Government Wordplays that Will Make You LOL
1. Why did the White House get extra doors installed? For the cabinet reshuffle.
2. Why does Congress have so many heating problems? Because there’s always hot air being blown around.
3. Why did the politician go to the art gallery? To find some bipartisan-t.
4. Why did the senator bring a ladder to the debate? To take things to a higher level.
5. Why did the congresswoman always win at poker? She was great at calling bluffs.
6. Why do politicians make great gardeners? Because they know how to plant seeds of change.
7. Why do politicians make terrible chefs? They always stir up controversy.
8. Why was the politician always on time? He had impeccable legis-lation.
9. Why did the president get a pet snake? He wanted to have a hiss-terical advisor.
10. Why did the judge install a skylight in the courtroom? To let in a little more due process.
Dad Jokes in the Oval Office: Funny Government Puns
1. How does the president keep his papers in order? With executive folders.
2. Why did the president sit in the sun for so long? He wanted to bring some warmth to foreign relations.
3. Why was the vice president always so calm? He had incredible poise-ition.
4. Why did the president always win at Monopoly? He had a great strategy for building hotels.
5. Why did the politician bring a camera to the debate? To capture the intensity of the photo-pol-itician.
6. Why was the mayor always careful with his words? He didn’t want to commit verbal gaffes.
7. Why did the senator carry a spoon in his pocket? To stir up some policy change.
8. Why did the congresswoman bring a map to the meeting? She wanted to navigate the conversation.
9. Why did the governor always wear sunglasses? To shade herself from political attacks.
10. Why did the judge always have a pen in hand? Because he wanted to make sure his rulings were write.
Supreme Court Humor: The Best Government-themed Jokes and Puns
1. Why do Supreme Court justices always bring an umbrella to work? To protect themselves from dissent-ful rain.
2. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? To make sure his arguments were top-notch.
3. Why did the judge become a baker? He enjoyed passing out just-ice.
4. Why did the prosecutor bring a flashlight to the trial? To shine a light on the truth.
5. Why did the defense attorney always wear a tie? To keep his case together.
6. Why did the courtroom artist always run out of yellow paint? Because justice always needed to be drawn in the right color.
7. Why did the bailiff carry a whistle? To make sure the proceedings went off without a hitch.
8. Why did the jury always bring snacks? They needed to have a balanced diet during deliberations.
9. Why did the witness always bring a magnifying glass to the stand? He wanted to magnify the truth.
10. Why did the Supreme Court justices take up gardening? They wanted to cultivate a greater understanding of justice.