In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best military puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Marching to Laughter: The Top 10 Military Puns That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the soldier break up with his calculator? Because she couldn’t count on him.
2. I used to be a baker in the army, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. How does a dolphin join the military? With a fish dish-charge.
4. Why did the scarecrow enlist in the military? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.
5. What do you call a group of musical soldiers? A band of brothers.
6. Why did the military chef get a medal? He was outstanding in his field.
7. I asked my military friend how many guns he has. He replied, “I lost count.”
8. Why do soldiers make good comedians? They have a lot of military humor.
9. What’s a soldier’s favorite drink? Grenade-ade.
10. Why did the military captain go to the doctor? He had a bad case of camo-flage.
Laughing Through Boot Camp: Hilarious Military Dad Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
4. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
5. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
7. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
8. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
In the Trenches of Comedy: The Best Wordplay Puns for Military Enthusiasts
1. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
2. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
3. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. Why couldn’t the bike find its way home? It lost its bearings.
5. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
6. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
7. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
8. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I asked my wife how she’s handling quarantine. She said “I am a pro. I’ve been training for this my whole life.”
From Barracks to Belly Laughs: Funny Military Puns That Will Make You Stand at Attention
1. Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You’ll get jurass-kicked.
2. My girlfriend said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
3. I would tell you a joke about a boomerang, but I’m sure you already can see it coming back.
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!
6. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
7. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intents.
8. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
10. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
Operation Humor: Military Wordplays Can Turn War Stories into Comedy Gold
1. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
3. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
4. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
5. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!
6. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
7. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants.
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. I would tell you a joke about a boomerang, but I’m sure you already can see it coming back.
10. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.