In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best scottish puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Bagpipes and Banter: Hilarious Scottish Puns That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
1. Why did the bagpiper get kicked out of the restaurant? He kept playing “Auld Lang Syne” instead of the dinner music.
2. What do you call a sheep playing the bagpipes? A baaaaa-gpiper.
3. How do you fix a broken bagpipe? With duct tape…just like you fix everything else in Scotland.
4. Why did the Scotsman wear a kilt to play the bagpipes? Because he couldn’t find his pants!
5. What do you get when you mix bagpipes and a duck? A quack piper.
6. What’s a bagpiper’s favorite restaurant? McDonald’s, because of all the “bag”pipes.
7. Why did the bagpiper go to school? To get a “piping hot” education.
8. What do you call a bagpipe that can’t play a note? A broken reed.
9. How many bagpipers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five…one to change the bulb and four to complain that the original was better.
10. Why did the bagpiper break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t handle his “blown” jokes.
Whisky Business: The Top Scottish Dad Jokes That Will Make You Roll Your Eyes
1. “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
2. “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!”
3. “What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!”
4. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
5. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug!”
6. “I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!”
7. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!”
8. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
9. “I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
10. “What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!”
Kilt-wearing Comedy: The Funniest Scottish Wordplays That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. “I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
2. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
3. “Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.”
4. “I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!”
5. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
6. “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
7. “Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.”
8. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug.”
9. “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You’re looking at him!'”
10. “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
Loch Ness Laughs: Unforgettable Scottish Puns That Will Have You Raising a Glass
1. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
2. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug.”
3. “I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!”
4. “Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!”
5. “I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
6. “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
7. “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You’re looking at him!'”
8. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
9. “What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!”
10. “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
Braveheart Humor: The Best Scottish Funny Wordplay That Will Make Your Day
1. “I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
2. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
3. “Why did the mathematician bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.”
4. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug.”
5. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
6. “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
7. “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
8. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!”
9. “I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down!”
10. “I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”