In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best contractor puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
1. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Contractor Puns Galore!
1. Why did the construction worker always carry a pencil?
Because he liked to draw his own conclusions.
2. Why did the contractor go to therapy?
He needed help dealing with his emotional walls.
3. Why did the roof start singing?
It just wanted to be a ceiling fan.
4. What did the construction worker say to his boss on payday?
“Thanks for the raise, I’m feeling on top of the world!”
5. Why did the contractor bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house.
6. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
7. How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof!
8. Why did the contractor go on a diet?
He wanted to build a lean-to.
9. Why did the contractor break up with his girlfriend?
She couldn’t handle his commitment issues.
10. Why did the construction worker go broke?
He kept blowing all his money on high maintenance windows.
2. Building a Strong Foundation of Hilarious Dad Jokes
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
5. Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.
6. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
7. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
8. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground?
They woke up.
9. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.
10. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
3. Renovating Your Sense of Humor with Construction Wordplays
1. What’s a contractor’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
2. Why was the belt embarrassed?
It held up a pair of pants that hurt the roof.
3. What did the hammer say to the nail?
“Nailed it!”
4. How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof!
5. Why did the contractor refuse to play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who blends in with the drywall.
6. What do you call a fake stone in a construction site?
A shamrock.
7. What did the bolt say when it finally got screwed in?
“That’s tight!”
8. How does a construction worker party?
They nail it every time.
9. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
10. Why did the contractor bring a pencil to the job site?
In case he needed to draw some plans.
4. Hammering Out the Top Funny Contractor Puns
1. Why do construction workers never play hide and seek?
Good luck finding someone who blends in with the drywall.
2. Why did the contractor bring a pencil to the job site?
In case he needed to draw some plans.
3. Why was the roof shivering?
It had a case of the shingles.
4. Why did the contractor bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house.
5. Why did the contractor go on a diet?
He wanted to build a lean-to.
6. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
7. How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof.
8. Why couldn’t the construction workers play cards?
Because they were always raising the roof.
9. Why did the contractor’s marriage fall apart?
He couldn’t fix their foundation.
10. Why did the contractor switch to metalworking?
He heard it was riveting.
5. Nail It with These Side-Splitting Construction Jokes
1. Why did the construction worker always carry a pencil?
He liked to draw his own conclusions.
2. Why did the contractor go to therapy?
He needed help dealing with his emotional walls.
3. Why did the roof start singing?
It just wanted to be a ceiling fan.
4. What did the construction worker say to his boss on payday?
“Thanks for the raise, I’m feeling on top of the world!”
5. Why did the contractor turn down a date?
He couldn’t handle the commitment.
6. What did the nail say to the hammer?
“You really nail it every time!”
7. How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof!
8. Why couldn’t the construction workers play cards?
They were always raising the roof.
9. Why did the contractor’s marriage fall apart?
He couldn’t fix their foundation.
10. Why did the contractor switch to metalworking?
He heard it was riveting.