In this very funny pun article, we have come up with and collected the best aging puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Wrinkle-worthy Humor: The Top Aging Puns That Will Make You Laugh
1. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
2. Age is just a number, in my case, a really high one.
3. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
4. I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off.
5. Keep your chin up…on your face.
6. I’m not aging, I’m marinating.
7. My memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
8. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
9. I’m not old, I’m a recycled teenager.
10. My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like, “I know, right?”
Aging like Fine Wine: Hilarious Dad Jokes About Getting Older
1. I used to play hide and seek. It’s a lot harder now that I’m 65. Even the bag boy had a hard time!
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
5. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
6. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
7. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
9. It takes guts to be an organ donor.
10. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
Laugh Lines and Dad Bod Jokes: Funny Puns for Embracing Aging with Humor
1. My wife has a tendency to jump to conclusions. She can jump, I can too!
2. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
4. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
5. I only know twenty-five letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
6. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
7. Excuse me, do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
10. I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens.
Gray Hair, Don’t Care: The Best Aging Puns to Keep You Young at Heart
1. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
2. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
3. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. I only know twenty-five letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
9. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
10. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
From Senior Moments to Golden Years: A Compilation of Side-Splitting Aging Puns
1. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
2. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
4. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
5. I used to play hide and seek. It’s a lot harder now that I’m 65. Even the bag boy had a hard time!
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
8. My wife has a tendency to jump to conclusions. She can jump, I can too!
9. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
10. My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like, “I know, right?”