In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best war puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
“A Call to Arms: The Top 10 Pun-tastic War Jokes”
1. Why did the soldier break up with his girlfriend? He couldn’t handle the long-distance grenades.
2. What did the sergeant say to the disobedient recruit? You’ve got a lot of gall to disobey my orders!
3. How does a soldier greet people in the morning? With a “tank” you very much!
4. Why did the military chef get promoted? He had a seasoned skillet.
5. Why did the soldier go to art school? He wanted to draw his weapon.
6. How do soldiers communicate in the jungle? Through semaphore-phore signals.
7. Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? He heard the war was going to new heights.
8. What did the general say to the avocado? You’ve been promoted to guac-amole.
9. Why don’t soldiers play hide and seek? Because good players are always found.
10. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
“Ready, Set, Pun! Hilarious Dad Jokes for Military Buffs”
1. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way? It lost its bearings.
5. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
6. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.
7. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
8. Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
9. Why was the calendar always upset? Because it had too many dates.
10. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
“Marching to Laughter: The Funniest War Puns of All Time”
1. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
2. Why don’t we ever see an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they’re so good at it!
3. We have nothing to fear but fear itself and spiders.
4. How do rabbits travel? By Hareplanes.
5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
6. What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.
7. How does a penguin’s car look? It’s Ice-Slick.
8. I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
9. When do monkeys fall from the sky? During Ape-ril showers.
10. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
“Battle of the Puns: Witty Wordplays That Will Make You LOL”
1. Why did the tofu refuse to fight? It was a pacifist-cado.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the battlefield? He woke up.
3. Why do ghosts love to hang out with soldiers? Because they’re in the spirit army.
4. What’s a soldier’s favorite snack? An air-tificial fruit.
5. Why do soldiers always carry a pencil? In case they need to draw their weapons.
6. Why did the soldier go broke? He lost all his cents at war.
7. Why don’t soldiers crash weddings? They prefer organized engagements.
8. Did you hear about the tank who broke down? It had a chain reaction.
9. Why did the warrior bring a ladder to battle? He heard the war was going to new heights.
10. How do soldiers break the ice at parties? They bring out their tank-ards.
“From Infantry to Infantry: The Best Military Humor and Wordplays”
1. How do soldiers greet each other? By arm-ing themselves with laughter.
2. Why don’t soldiers play hide and seek? Good players are always found.
3. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!
4. Why do soldiers make terrible comedians? They always bomb on stage.
5. How do soldiers stay in touch with their emotions? They send them to the front lines.
6. Why did the soldier put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some war-cash smoothies.
7. What do you call an army of babies? infantry.
8. Why do soldiers make bad chefs? They always have too many orders to follow.
9. Why did the soldier bring a pencil to war? In case he had to draw his weapon.
10. How do soldiers communicate? By using a military-ary system.