In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best hospital puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Injection of Humor: The Best Hospital Puns That Will Make You LOL
1. I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
2. Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the freezer? Because she wanted to give her patients a chilling experience.
3. Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right now.
4. I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”
5. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
6. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
7. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m a surgeon, and I’m rolling in the dough.
8. The doctor told me I have a fear of hospitals, but I told him it’s just a phobia.
9. I told the surgeon I can’t feel my legs. He replied, “I know, I cut off your arms.”
10. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood.
Operating Room Roasts: Hilarious Dad Jokes About Hospitals
1. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m a surgeon, and I’m rolling in the dough.
3. The doctor told me I have a fear of hospitals, but I told him it’s just a phobia.
4. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
5. Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right now.
6. I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”
7. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
8. I told the surgeon I can’t feel my legs. He replied, “I know, I cut off your arms.”
9. Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the freezer? Because she wanted to give her patients a chilling experience.
10. I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
Nurse-Approved Wordplays: Funny Hospital Puns That Will Cure Your Boredom
1. I told the doctor I have a problem with my back. He said, “Don’t worry, it’s all in your head.”
2. Why did the skeleton go to the hospital alone? He didn’t have the guts.
3. I heard the surgeon was fired for being too sharp. He just couldn’t make the cut.
4. Why did the doctor carry a dictionary? He wanted to check his patients’ symptoms.
5. The MRI machine is always tired. It’s always getting zapped.
6. The nurse told the patient that laughter is the best medicine. The patient replied, “I’ll take mine with a shot of tequila.”
7. Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the oven? She wanted to give her patients a warm reception.
8. The thermometer was so busy, it had no time to relax. It was always under pressure.
9. The doctor said my state of health was terminal. I told him, “Good, I’ve always wanted to travel.”
10. Why did the hospital hire a gardener? They wanted to make patients feel blooming well.
Laughter is the Best Medicine: Side-Splitting Hospital Jokes You Need to Hear
1. The nurse asked the patient if he needed a urine sample. The patient replied, “No thanks, I’ve got it covered.”
2. Why did the surgeon always carry a pen? In case he needed to draw blood.
3. I went to the hospital with a broken leg, but they gave me the cold shoulder.
4. The MRI machine was feeling ill-tempered. It had too many bad vibes.
5. The doctor said the patient had a Vitamin deficiency. The patient replied, “Does that mean I can’t drink wine?”
6. Why did the stethoscope break up with the thermometer? They just didn’t click anymore.
7. I told the surgeon I was feeling a little light-headed. He said, “Well, that’s not a problem, you’ll be feeling a lot lighter soon.”
8. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood.
9. The X-ray machine was feeling a little transparent. It felt like everyone could see right through it.
10. The nurse told the patient to eat more fiber. The patient replied, “But my diet is already full of puns!”
From Scrubs to Stethoscopes: The Ultimate List of Hospital Puns That Will Tickled Your Funny Bone
1. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood.
2. I told the surgeon I was feeling a little light-headed. He said, “Well, that’s not a problem, you’ll be feeling a lot lighter soon.”
3. The MRI machine was feeling ill-tempered. It had too many bad vibes.
4. Why did the stethoscope break up with the thermometer? They just didn’t click anymore.
5. The nurse told the patient to eat more fiber. The patient replied, “But my diet is already full of puns!”
6. Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the oven? She wanted to give her patients a warm reception.
7. The thermometer was so busy, it had no time to relax. It was always under pressure.
8. The doctor said my state of health was terminal. I told him, “Good, I’ve always wanted to travel.”
9. Why did the hospital hire a gardener? They wanted to make patients feel blooming well.
10. Why did the skeleton go to the hospital alone? He didn’t have the guts.