In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best cocktail puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Mixology Madness: The Ultimate List of Cocktail Puns That Will Shake Up Your Funny Bone
1. I’m not a gin drinker, I’m a gin lover.
2. Why did the vodka go to school? It wanted to be a little more spirited.
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
4. My favorite kind of beer is an open one.
5. I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically inconvenienced.
6. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
7. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
8. I’m not a wine snob, I’m a wine connoisseur.
9. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. Why do martinis always look so serious? They’re shaken, not stirred.
Stirring Up Laughter: Hilarious Cocktail Dad Jokes That Will Make You Giggle Into Your Martini
1. I used to be a bartender, but I had to quit because it was driving me to drink.
2. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
3. I’m in a drinking club, but I don’t know what the problem is with being the chairman.
4. I started a band called 1023MB but we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
5. Have you heard about that new vodka made with vegetables? It’s a bloody fine edition.
6. Why did the bartender break up with the gin? It just wasn’t his type.
7. I used to date a bartender, but it just didn’t mix well.
8. I told my wife I was going to make a cocktail the other day and she said, “Don’t sugarcoat it.”
9. What do you call a monkey who loves wine? A grapiest.
10. Why did the chicken go to the bar? To get to the other cider.
Bottoms Up, Jokes Down: Wordplay Wonders for Your Next Cocktail Hour
1. I’m on a strict whiskey diet. I’ve already lost three days.
2. Why did the melon get married? Because it cantaloupe.
3. I like my whiskey like I like my death metal – straight up.
4. I asked the bartender for a double entendre, and he gave me one – so I took him up on it.
5. I’m starting a new whiskey diet. It’s called the “bourbon and skipping dinner” diet.
6. Why was the beer belly so popular at parties? It always brought the kegs.
7. My favorite cocktail is the Margarita – but I’m open to persuasion.
8. They say laughter is the best medicine, so I always keep a bottle of gin handy just in case.
9. I love my job as a bartender, it’s where I mix business with pleasure.
10. I made a new cocktail called the “Emotion.” It’s mostly ice.
Funny Fizz: The Most Clever and Creative Cocktail Puns That Will Have You in Stitches
1. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
2. I used to be a bartender, but I couldn’t handle all the bar jokes. They were just too intoxicating.
3. I mixed up a White Russian once, but it turned out to be a Moscow mule.
4. Why was the rum always gone? It just kept walking the plank.
5. My favorite cocktail is an Old Fashioned – just like me.
6. I told my friend I was buying him a round of shots, he said “I’ll take it rectilinear – it’s only fair.”
7. I tried to make a screwdriver, but I screwed it up.
8. I like my drinks Mexican, where the only thing margarising is the conversation.
9. Why was the cocktail always happy? Because it was a highball kind of person.
10. I like my cocktails like I like my relationships – full of surprises.
Shaken and Stirred: Cheers to the Best Cocktail Humor and Wordplay on the Internet
1. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a bartender.
2. I used to be a beer connoisseur, but I just lost interest.
3. My favorite cocktail is a Gin and Tonic – it’s just so refreshing.
4. Why did the bartender plant a clock in his garden? He wanted to have time on his hands.
5. I like my drinks like I like my humor – dark and dry.
6. I’ll have a vodka martini, hold the vermouth.
7. I tried to make an Irish Cream the other day, but it ended up more like a leprechaun frappe.
8. I like my drinks like I like my puns – on the rocks.
9. They say you are what you drink, so I must be a cocktail.
10. I’m not a wine snob, I’m just grape at picking the right bottle.