In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best speed puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Zooming into Laughter: The Top Speed Puns
1. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
2. Did you hear about the fast tomato? It ketchup with the rest of the veggies!
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m a race car driver and I’m rolling in the money!
4. How does a motorcycle stop its sneezing? By putting on its cycle-chillers!
5. What did the police officer say to the speedy tomato? “Ketchup with me if you can!”
6. Why did the race car go to therapy? It had too many emotional baggage in the trunk!
7. The cheetah told the race car, “You drive me crazy!”
8. What do you call a fast chicken? A quick clucker!
9. The speed bump broke up with the race car because it couldn’t slow down for commitment.
10. I told my girlfriend she was drawing way too many race cars. She needed to put the brakes on her art.
Racing to a Laugh: Hilarious Speed Wordplays
1. When the race car driver got his phone bill, the charges were through the roof!
2. I accidentally sprayed soda all over my race car. It was fizz-ical damage!
3. I decorated my car with racing stripes, but it didn’t make it go any faster. It was just a drag.
4. The car couldn’t decide between two fuel stations, so it put the pedal to the metal and raced to a decision.
5. The race car and the motorcycle had a competition to see who could tell the fastest joke. The motorcycle won by a wheelie!
6. Why do race cars like to hang out at the bar? To get sloshed!
7. The race car went to the doctor because it had exhaust issues. The doctor said it needed to vent its feelings more.
8. What does a race car say when it’s happy? It goes “Vroom-vroom-tastic!”
9. The race track decided to raise the speed limit, but only on the humorous mile.
10. What did the race car say to the finish line? “Stop flirting with me, I’m just here for the laughs!”
Punny Acceleration: Dad Jokes that Will Make You Speed Up
1. How do you know you’re an expert in race car jokes? You have a pit crew of comedians!
2. I heard a joke about a speedy snail, but it was too slow for me to get to the punchline.
3. My dad tried to teach me how to fix race cars, but I couldn’t handle the pressure. I was too much of a lug-nut.
4. The race car told the dad joke, “What’s the fastest cake in the world? Red velvet, because it goes over the speed limit in taste!”
5. My dad’s favorite book is about race cars, but I think it’s just a tire-ing read.
6. What’s a race car’s favorite instrument? The speed drum!
7. My dad bought a race car bed for me when I was a kid. It really drove me to sleep!
8. Why did the race car bring a ladder to the track? It wanted to elevate its racing skills!
9. What do you call a race car that’s been around the block a few times? Exhausted.
10. My dad always tells me there’s no “brake” for laughter when it comes to race car jokes.